I Didn't Even Have to Use My AK

So a couple of days ago, Philebrity posted a link to Snacks and Shit, a blog that does nothing but comment on absurd rap lyrics, and it is truly hilarious. While going through their archives, I checked to see how much they had written on Ice Cube's song "It Was a Good Day," but was disappointed to see that it only merited one post. You see, a week or so ago, I was listening to that track a few times a day, and while it's a killer song, it's got quite a few lines that baffle me. To wit:

• "Get me on the court and I'm trouble / Last week, fucked around and got a triple double" Yeah, it's not that original to point out how ridiculous it is that Ice Cube is keeping detailed personal statistics during a playground basketball game (unless he brings his own scorekeeper along?). Moreover, how annoying must it be to be one of Cube's friends? First you've got to put up with him talking up his acheivements like he's his own Sportscenter highlight reel. Then, he wins all of your money playing craps. By the time he's yelling "Domino!" I feel like the other guys sitting around the table are like, "Yo, Cube, don't you have two or three girls you could be having sex with right now?"
• "It's ironic / I got the brew, she got the chronic" I think that even Alanis Morissette would have to file that under "Not at all ironic."
• "And my dick runs deep, so deep / So deep put her ass to sleep" Uh, I'm not sure just how that works, but I'd just as soon not dwell on it.
• "I even saw the lights of the Goodyear blimp / And it read 'Ice Cube's a Pimp'" Who on earth would purchase ad space to relay that message? Fess up, Cube: you bought that yourself, didn't you? I understand you probably got a bargain price, seeing as the blimp is flying over South Central after midnight, but it still reeks of desperation.

However, one piece of information does check out: it is possible to get a Fatburger in Los Angeles at two in the morning.