Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Here's Your Fortune: "You Will Soon Be Crossing the Great Waters"

If you're reading it literally, this fortune cookie is telling me that in the near future I will be embarking on a transoceanic voyage. If you're reading it as a metaphor, it sure sounds like I'll be dead soon (and if that's the case, those smiley faces bookending the prophecy of my doom are pretty damn morbid). Also, this fortune makes no more sense when you add "in bed" to the end of it. Am I crossing the great waters in a bed, like the caulked-up wagon in The Oregon Trail? Or are the great waters in the bed itself? If so, ew.

Of course, it's some comfort (or perhaps not) that no matter what bizarre, hilarious, or profound fortune came in your cookie, there were many other people who got the same slip of paper after their meals. After all, a Google search for my creepy fortune turns up 2,200 hits, and those are just the internet-savvy people who thought it was worth their time to write about.

If everyone else is doing it, though, I might as well join in. Think of this as the blogging equivalent of Chinese takeout: quick and requiring no preparation, but with very little nutritional content and likely to leave you unsatisfied an hour later.

6 comments:

Plotinus said...

I, too, have received the mysterious dictum concerning the Great Waters...

Plotinus said...

I leave for Europe in a month and then will be traveling to Hawaii---assuming the Great Waters are literal. I found some references to epoch making disruptions or enhancements to one's fate associated with this fortune. My fortunes bizarrely tend to come true...before my last promotion I got a fortune cookie indicating the same...when will I get, a plethora of riches will wash your shores with plenty and happiness will take you for her own?

Vicki Brooks said...

hubby got this fortune last night. He has advanced prostate cancer, so it was distressing to hear this from a cookie.

Vicki Brooks said...

hubby got this fortune last night. He has advanced prostate cancer, so it was distressing to hear this from a cookie.

SinSeer128 said...

I got this fortune last night..
Number 187 on back too!!

Uh oh

Unknown said...

I got this cookie tonight. . . if I die you all know why