Thursday, September 27, 2007

Here's Your Fortune: "Your Dearest Wish Will Come True"

This is, without a doubt, the most promising fortune I have ever removed from a cookie. No sayings from Confucius, no bland generalities, just a straightforward promise that my dearest wish will become a reality.

And yet, I'm less than optimistic. I've seen enough Twilight Zone episodes to know that getting your dearest wish is often just the preface to your horribly ironic comeuppance. Like that guy who finally had time to read all his books after humanity was wiped out by nuclear war, but then stepped on his glasses (wouldn't he have been too busy trying to survive in a postapocalyptic wasteland to be kicking back with a good book in the first place?). Also, they don't give a time frame for this dream-fulfillment; what if it takes place . . . an hour before I die! Then Rod Serling would appear and talk about Joe McCarthy or something. In addition, I'm not an extraordinarily decisive person, so I'm not sure I could tell you what my dearest wish is. Is that a prerequisite for it coming true? Or will I know it when it happens?

My final quibble is that I got this fortune in a Chinese buffet that is closing at the end of the week, so I really have no recourse if things don't pan out. Maybe they pulled out all of their pie-in-the-sky fortunes, like "World peace is just around the corner" and "That cute barista is totally into you," knowing they would face no influx of outraged patrons with their dreams still unfulfilled.

But aside from that, wow! My dearest wish. I can't wait.

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